Introduction

My name is Jill. I have been diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder.  I was diagnosed with this about four years ago. I went through a period, after a minor surgical procedure, of frequent anxiety attacks.  I lost forty pounds in three months and finally consented to starting on a prescription called Zoloft.  I went for four years without another anxiety attack, then February 2016, I began having these anxiety attacks again. I am pretty sure this is because of a very busy lifestyle and a sudden, HUGE, issue at work involving a close friend and ultimately myself and my children.  

I always know when I am getting an anxiety attack, my mind starts thinking only negative thoughts and everything, and I mean everything, scares me and I get a creepy-crawly feeling up my shoulders and the back of my neck.  When I first had anxiety attacks, I would think I was having heart problems, my chest hurt, rapid breathing, scared I was going to pass out. That does not happen anymore, I have learned to try and regulate my breathing.   

In the middle of an attack, thoughts pop into my head that can be wild and very unsettling. I worry about having cancer, maybe I have just missed symptoms. I wonder if I am going crazy and will end up being hospitalized. I become anxious for my children’s safety. I become anxious for my children’s health, mental and physical. I worry about my husband’s health and what would happen if he died, how could I handle it.

When my mind calms down, I feel very depressed. I worry and worry. I do not want these to happen again, but know it probably will.

So that is why I am writing this blog. I began an anxiety journal to help me get the negative thoughts out in the open. When exposed, the thoughts do not seem so scary.  I think it is unrealistic to think that I will never have another anxiety attack. Transferring my journal to a blog may help someone else realize they are not alone. By the way, I am a Christian and will bring my faith into this blog as well.